Deciding whether or not to tell your friends about your cancer is a big decision.

Here are some thoughts and tips to help you navigate this sensitive topic:

Consider your feelings first

  • Reflect on your comfort level
    • Think about how you feel about sharing your diagnosis. It’s perfectly okay to take some time to process everything yourself before talking to others.
  • Decide what you want to share
    • You don’t have to share everything. Decide on the specific details you feel comfortable sharing and what you’d prefer to keep private.

Talking to your friends

  • Choose the right time and place
    • Find a quiet, private place where you can talk without interruptions. Choose a time when you and your friend are relaxed and not in a hurry.
  • Be honest and direct
    • Explain your situation clearly and honestly. You might say something like, “I have something important to tell you. I’ve been diagnosed with cancer, and I’m currently undergoing treatment.”
  • Explain what it means
    • Some of your friends might not know much about cancer or chemotherapy. You can explain it in simple terms, like how the treatment will help you get better, but it might make you feel sick or tired sometimes.

Handling reactions

  • Expect a range of reactions
    • Your friends might react in different ways—some might be shocked, others might cry, and some might not know what to say. That’s okay. Everyone processes news differently.
  • Give them time
    • Just as you needed time to process your diagnosis, your friends might need time too. Be patient and give them the space to absorb the information.
  • Offer information
    • Let them know it’s okay to ask questions, but also that it’s okay if they don’t know what to say. Sometimes just being there for you is enough.

Seeking support

  • Identify your supportive friends
    • Think about which friends you trust the most and who are likely to be supportive. These might be the people you talk to first.
  • Explain how they can help
    • Your friends might want to help but not know how. You can tell them specific things they can do, like texting to check in, hanging out when you feel up to it, or just listening.

Deciding not to share

  • It’s your choice
    • Remember, it’s your decision whether or not to tell your friends. If you don’t feel ready or don’t want to share, that’s completely fine.
  • Create boundaries
    • If you choose not to tell some people, you can create boundaries by saying you’re dealing with some health issues and prefer to keep things private for now.

Taking care of yourself

  • Prioritize your well-being
    • Your health and emotional well-being come first. If talking about your cancer is too overwhelming, it’s okay to take a step back and focus on yourself.
  • Seek other support
    • If you’re not ready to talk to friends, consider talking to a counselor, therapist, or support group where you can express your feelings and get advice.

Leaning on family

  • Ask for help
    • If you find it hard to talk to your friends, ask a family member to help you. They can be there for support or even help explain things to your friends.
  • Family support
    • Your family can be a strong support system. Lean on them when you need to talk or need help navigating conversations with friends.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Whether you choose to share your diagnosis with your friends or keep it private, make sure to surround yourself with people who care about you and want to support you. There’s no right or wrong way to handle this—just do what feels best for you.